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- My favorite line in it occurs at 0:18 in the first video. "BECAUSE WHAT MICHELLE!?" That kid is ...
- Oh San Diego Chicken, will you ever learn? Put this one in the time capsule....most of the crucial elements from the ...
Is Rob Ford a fat fuck or is he just fucking fat?
Rob Ford squints at the world through little swine eyes while wearing novelty ties. In a panicked, squealing falsetto, he says things like: ”I can’t support bike lanes. Roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks. My heart bleeds when someone gets killed, but it’s their own fault at the end of the day.” He thinks “orientals” are “slowly taking over.” He gets so drunk and shouts so many insults that he stands out at the hockey game. He gets charged with assaulting and making death threats against his wife. Most recently, it turns out he was caught with a joint in Florida and has just said about immigrants: “Right now we can’t even deal with the 2.5 million people in this city. I think it is more important to take care of people now before we start bringing in more people.” He stands a decent chance at being Toronto’s next mayor.
It’s hardly surprising.
A lot of people say those sorts of things and some of them actually believe them.
The good news is that you’ll never hear Rob Ford say: “Let them eat cake.” You will, however, hear him say, “I have no idea where the cake went. Really you left it there? Nope, never saw it.” And then he’ll wipe some icing off his chins.
"My dinner was this big."
Though often portrayed as being a right winger, Rob Ford is not any sort of winger. Wings require flapping and flapping is a lot like exercise. Rather, he is a radical populist and a demagogue. He panders to the bigotries of the common man and pretends such pandering is policy. He presents no conservative theory of government or economics and his appetite for bon-bons is best described as liberal.
His comment “I think it is more important to take care of people now before we start bringing in more people” is about as far away from any genuine conservatism as you can get. He seems to think the government should be taking care of people. That it should be in charge of bringing people in. That it should act as a brutal nanny enforcing the prejudices of the populace while rewarding its worst instincts. Probably with ice-cream cake. If there’s any left.
Mr Ford’s comments would make more sense if they were about the food on his table. “I think it’s important that we take care of this steak before we bring in seconds and dessert” would be a sensible policy. It’s probably not one he has ever believed in.
He explains his remarks and describes his perfect world thus: “I’m going to play the cards that I’m dealt and you know what? More people will come. But in a perfect world, what I’m saying is that I would like to deal with the 2.5 million first.” His goal is not smaller government but a government that deals with each of its citizens just like he deals with each of his fries.
I do not want to deal with the government. I wish it did not deal with me. Like Rob Ford, the government is a fat fuck.
I’m married to an immigrant from America who brought herself in. We do not need the government to take care of us. We need it it to get out of our way and allow us to build our life together. We just want to make some money and buy some shit. Right now, our greatest obstacle to doing either is the government. If someone wants to work and can get a job, they should be allowed to. This does not steal jobs – it makes them. The free movement of people and goods does not damage the economy – it is the economy.
Unlike Mr. Ford, whose job is paid for by my tax dollars, we do not intend to suck at the government’s teat. From the looks of him, that milk is fattening, from the sound of him, it addles the senses. Frankly, I hope the man is hit by a car. Or I would, if the collision would not do so much damage to the car. In the meantime, he should just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
That is, if he can find a chair large enough to support him.
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- Yup.
- I swear I will fucking puke if that fat fucking cunt gets elected and I have to see his stupid ...
Are there monkeys in shoes? I don’t know. There are bogeymen, laying eggs in spectra.
WEAR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES!
Do you sneeze in sunlight? You’ve caught one in the eye. Your face is trying to reject the egg as it sneaks through your pupil and into your brain. In there, it rewrites your neurology. If you hold that sneeze in, you’ll find yourself wearing a crumpled hat, lurking in shadows, shouting BOO. Your earlobes will hang down to your knees. Your knees will be halfway down your shins. Your shins will still lead to your shoes.
No eyewash will help.
The union will contact you shortly.
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Time: 28 minutes.
The Robot Choir sings classic blues songs. The above picture is by Drew Falchetta.
Track Listing.
Hellhound on My Trail: Robert Johnson
Hateful Blues: Bessie Smith
Stack O’ Lee Blues: Mississippi John Hurt
Rollin’ and Tumblin’: Junior Wells and Buddy Guy
Strange Love: Slim Harpo
Hoochie Coochie Man: Jimi Hendrix
I Just Wanna Make Love to You: Muddy Waters
In New Orleans (House of the Rising Sun): Leadbelly
6
Aug
Vagina Power: STOP BEING A COMMON BITCH: Alexyss K Tylor:
By Ryan Oakley | Filed in ladies, television- [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Anita, Ryan Oakley and Alex Taylor, Dolly Allison Howard. Dolly Allison Howard ...
pic nicked from here
But, at the same time, looking at those hats, I can’t decide if baseball needs less racism or more.
I wrote a guest editorial for Auxiliary Magazine. You can download the pdf here. I did not write my bio and I’m not taking any responsibility for that.
Auxiliary is an alternative fashion, music and lifestyle magazine - available online and in print– and I was asked to do something that related to alt culture. I don’t really know what alt culture is or where I fit into it. Am I an alternative? I doubt it. I did drop out of high-school instead of riding the office train to retirement at sixty five but, far as I can tell, I never had alternative to being myself. Most of the important decisions I made turned out to be irreversible before I knew they were important. I suspect most people are in the same boat.
Not really sure what to write, cognizant that people only listen to me because I dress well and determined to give the public what they want, I wrote an editorial comparing alt culture to the dandy. Seemed apt. And, if not, at least it’s some bullshit I can stand behind. Or in front of. I do have a book to promote, ya know.
I don’t read many magazines but Auxiliary seems decent, which is a shame. I prefer indecent publications like American Conservative or anything else that includes splayed vaginas like Pat Buchanan. But Auxiliary lacks nudity and remains suspiciously quiet on the state of the American family and illegal immigration.
I suspect “alt” is just a codeword for secret homosexual, communist Illuminati agenda.
Aside from myself, you’ll find a lot of pictures. If, for some reason you prefer reading to gawking at (clothed!?) goth girls, there’s Clint Catalyst, Nina Flowers, industrial band Android Lust and Andy Deane as well as an interview with Michael Swaim of little known humor site Cracked.com.
Anyway, go have a look. Enjoy or don’t. I’m not going to tell you how to live your fucking life.
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- Maybe next time.
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- Thanks for contributing to the issue! Sorry there wasn't any nudity! :) - Jennifer
Alone and warming his five wits, the white owl in the belfry sits.
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
“Last, but not least, the man who probably better than anyone else understands the psychology of the Attentäter is M. Hamon, the author of the brilliant work Une Psychologie du Militaire Professionnel, who has arrived at these suggestive conclusions:
“The positive method confirmed by the rational method enables us to establish an ideal type of Anarchist, whose mentality is the aggregate of common psychic characteristics. Every Anarchist partakes sufficiently of this ideal type to make it possible to differentiate him from other men. The typical Anarchist, then, may be defined as follows: A man perceptible by the spirit of revolt under one or more of its forms,–opposition, investigation, criticism, innovation,–endowed with a strong love of liberty, egoistic or individualistic, and possessed of great curiosity, a keen desire to know. These traits are supplemented by an ardent love of others, a highly developed moral sensitiveness, a profound sentiment of justice, and imbued with missionary zeal.”
To the above characteristics, says Alvin F. Sanborn, must be added these sterling qualities: a rare love of animals, surpassing sweetness in all the ordinary relations of life, exceptional sobriety of demeanour, frugality and regularity, austerity, even, of living, and courage beyond compare.”
–Emma Goldman; The Psychology of Political Violence
Is this man a mother?
Mothers Against Drunk Driving is at it again: Come August, if you are below 22, you will need a zero alcohol blood level to drive a car.
It’s unreasonable but not unexpected. This is one of the very worst charities in existence.
MADD was founded by a decent woman with decent intentions. Candy Lightner, whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver, set to work raising awareness about the issue and passing legislation about it. She quit the organization in 1985, feeling that MADD had been hijacked and saying that the group had “ become far more neo-prohibitionist than I had ever wanted or envisioned … I didn’t start MADD to deal with alcohol. I started MADD to deal with the issue of drunk driving.” This is a distinction that MADD seems incapable of making.
They recklessly inflate their statistics. Notice that they talk about ‘alcohol related accidents.’ This is any accident that can be related to alcohol in any way. Did you have a beer at lunch and a sober person ran a red light and crashed into you? Did your passenger have a blood alcohol level higher than zero? Was an empty beer can found in your car even though you had no alcohol in your system? According to MADD, these are alcohol related accidents.
Even for statistics, it’s corrupt. I have not looked at the numbers for car crashes involving people below the age of 22 but I imagine that there are more accidents in general -not just “alcohol related- than in older drivers. Hence the insurance costs.
As far as fundraising goes, MADD just received a D (a scale from A to F ) from the watchdog organization, The American Institute of Philanthropy. This was caused by its poor spending practices and lack of victim support.
“The AIP says while most charities spend $35 to to raise $100. MADD has spent nearly double that amount. It also says in recent years they have spent $30 million on salaries, leaving just one third of its budget for victim services.”
The American Beverage Institute (a restaurant trade organization) agrees, saying that, in 2008 MADD spent almost $30 million on salaries, leaving just a third of its budget, or $15 million, for charitable work and victim services. They add that:
“Ten to fifteen years ago, Mothers Against Drunk Driving really did shift their focus away from hardcore drunk drivers and targeting them, getting them off the road and policies that did that and going after social drinking of all kinds. They need to shift back, go back to basics.”
And they probably would get back to basics if they could. Problem is, they’ve already achieved every single legislative goal they started with and quite a few that drove their founder straight into the arms of the liquor lobby. Yet they’re still making laws. No wonder. They make a lot of money from doing so.
Now, while one should believe The American Institute of Philanthropy, one could sensibly point out that the American Beverage Institute has a vested interest in badmouthing MADD. But if one is concerned with vested interests, they might also consider the one that MADD has. They too are a multi-million dollar organization. One that has a male CEO. For those of you unfamiliar with biology, it is possible for a male to be against drunk driving but impossible for him to be a mother. This matters because so much of MADD’s cache is based on “motherhood.” Would you expect a group called Canadian Fathers for Change to be headed by an American woman?
For everyone involved, MADD is a money making scheme. They should have no place in forming the laws of this country. That the media gives them respect, air time and acts as if MADD are serving the interests of the people, when they are simply serving the interests of a small, greedy and puritan group while taking advantage of their mostly well-intentioned but hopelessly naive donors, never fails to amaze me. Then again, MADD does buy a lot of advertising.
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- Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Sent from my iPhone 4G
- You must be reading my title drafts. Or you're a mindreader. No other possible explanation.
- oh, oh, I know. MADD is mad! Bet you never thought of that one...
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