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A newish paper called “Robots, Men and Sex Tourism” published in the journal Futures, examines  the impact that robots will have on the sex industry by looking at life in a brothel in the year 2050.

I haven’t read it because, well, I’ve read too much of this nonsense over the years. And, if you ask me, futurism is just science fiction without the self awareness. Or, really, much awareness at all.

But, if the conversation around this paper is to be believed (you can find some articles here and here and here and here) the paper makes a few bizarre points.

Android Sex Workers Will Be Easily Cleaned and Free From Disease

That’s nice. No one wants crabs. But, this is 2050, we’re talking about. And considering the general thrust of things (google goggles, augmented reality, portable computing) one should probably wonder if the STD of the future is biological at all.

Like you can already visit the red light districts of the Internet. But, when you do, you better bring some sort of protection. There’s no reason to think that sex will evolve but viruses won’t.

It’s just too tempting a trap to be ignored.

As long as there’s been brothels, there’s been panel rooms. The viruses you could catch in a robot one might leave you sick and pick your pocket.

There Will Be No Guilt About Robot Sex

This one is just hard to believe.

And not just because we’re talking about a world populated with lifelike robots but still using agricultural-era forms of social organization like marriage, limited by real world geography and, basically, capitalist.

But let’s assume we are.

Let’s pretend that sort of world is possible without being a complete nightmare.

After all, the authors seemed to.

I doubt anyone cares very much about the actual sex part of an affair. It’s more the time, attention and money lavished elsewhere in the pursuit of a remarkably selfish end — that is, an orgasm.

“Where were you, honey?”

“Oh, just out spending our jetpack money to jerk off into a robot’s mouth.”

“That’s nice. Could you pass the peas?”

That a person would be spending their money and time with robot hookers rather than helping to wash the flying car is going to be a problem.

And besides, if there’s no guilt just what sort of sex is this anyway? I’ll tell ya: it’s bad sex.

I don’t even want to be able to look myself in a mirror after fucking. I want to be left with a lot of serious questions and no easy answers. Why would I pay good money to do something that doesn’t even make me feel bad? It makes no sense.

Sex Robots Will Cut Down Sex Traffic

Are sex slaves expensive? Like, they’re called slaves. I assume it’s for a reason. What’s cheaper than a slave’s life? High-tech machinery, of course.

There’s mention of factory workers losing their jobs to robots. But I’m pretty sure that Detroit didn’t go under because of a sudden influx of robots. It went under because of free trade. That is, dirt cheap, non-unionised labour from impoverished areas.

Abusing a human will always be cheaper than building a robot.

Like, I haven’t checked, but last I heard, a blow job up the block was going for around twenty bucks. A robot is going to have to suck a lot of dick to pay for itself. Especially when the world is full of dick-sucking robots. Supply and demand.

And that’s not even including the cleaning or upkeep.

The paper puts the price of a trip to their robot brothel at $12,672.

So in short . . .

I’m not even sure why I bother looking at this stuff. Most of it is some sort of insane, male, wish fulfilment. It speaks more to the futurists’ notions of sex than to any sort of reality.

That’s not to say that sex lacks a bright and interesting future. Augmented reality, cyber dildonics and a variety of avatars are going to make things pretty bizarre pretty quickly.

And sexbots will likely play a role as a sort of high end, luxury item that finances a lot of other research, just as porn helped spread the Internet, the VHS and an assortment of other techs. Call it the sexual industrial complex. It’s there.

But it’s hard to believe that, in 2050, we’ll be in some clockwork brothel, playing out the sexual politics of today with the robots of tomorrow. At those prices, no less.

Things are going to be weirder than that. I hope.

Continue reading »]]> A couple of interesting, separate but seemingly connected, developments in robotics.

First off:

Researchers from the Excellence Cluster CoTeSys at the Technische Universität München (TUM) have created a sensitive skin for robots that allows them to feel temperature and a light touch.

And secondly:

. . . researchers in Japan have developed a dental training robot that can sneeze, shake its head, cough, gag, and even close its mouth when feeling a jaw ache. The robot was created by researchers at Japan’s Showa University, with help from the country’s top sex doll manufacturer Orient Industry. Why sex dolls? To get that lifelike skin, tongue and mouth, of course.

Though these are two separate projects, taken together, they must mean that we’ll soon be building robots that feel and react like humans to their feelings.

I look forward to a lot of whining and crying from our robot overlords.

And complaints about a lack of romance from the sex robots.

Continue reading »]]> The future is so often portrayed as some slick, clean and minimalist place.  People all have the same haircut, there’s no litter and most of it takes place in grey corridors.  I’ve never pictured the future like that.  I always figured it’d be noisy, crowded and annoying.  With robot pole dancers.

Because why should the future make any sense?  The present doesn’t.

Continue reading »]]> Truecompanion.com has invented what they claim is the first sexbot.   Although it apparently has a personality, Roxxy looks a bit like a plastic corpse.

“I had a friend who passed away in 9/11.  I promised myself I would create a program to store his personality, and that became the foundation for Roxxxy True Companion.”

Though I pity the fools who use them, I have nothing against sexbots.   They are a disturbing but necessary part of  technological development.  Sexbots are harmless.  I’m not quite so sure about the underlying misogyny of thinking a female personality should consist of:  “If you like Porsches, she likes Porsches. If you like soccer, she likes soccer.”

But sexbots didn’t create that attitude.  If anything, they’ll just keep the men who think that way at home and away from everyone else.  That’s not such a bad outcome.  Take those fuckers out of the gene/memepool.  And pray, get down on your knees and pray, that the first human-robot baby is not a product of their sperm.

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Sega has produced a robot girlfriend for lonely men. She has a big set of tits and she wiggles her ass on command. Both of these qualities are apparently more important than her diminutive size. (38 cm tall.) It’s the booty shaking girl you can carry in your pocket. She also gives kisses.

What’s interesting here is the difference between robots for men and robots for women. The marketplace is turning traditional notions of sexuality on their –ahem– heads. We are told that men only want sex while women demand companionship.

It seems to be a lie.

At least, as far as robots go.

Consider: When a woman buys a sex robot, she just purchases a mechanical set of genitals. It’s almost as if she views men as a penis with a problem attached. I don’t fault that assessment. But, insofar as men are supposed to think at all, that’s how they are supposed to think about women.

Yet, the male equivalent of a vibrator, is the prostitute vagina in a can. And I suspect that these sell mainly as joke gifts. I would further wager that they far undersell the vibrating cock and balls.  And that hookers outsell the lot.

Perhaps women have more imagination than men or, perhaps, men have so sexualized females that every part of them, including a personality, needs to be reproduced. Perhaps.

But, whatever the cause, when it comes to sex machines, women seem to favor a reproduction of the genitals while men want companionship. I don’t know what this means for anyone or how it reflects upon anyone. But it does go to show that conventional wisdom is usually wrong.

Because, let’s face it, this love robot is only 38cm tall. You certainly can’t have sex with a 38cm tall robot. You could, I suppose, shove it up your ass. However, if you’re determined to shove robots up your ass, you may not be very interested in their sex. Or that they’re robots. I suspect the important thing is the shape.

And that it’s up your ass.

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Eve is a virtual teacher who can read the emotions of her student’s faces and respond to them. She’s linked to the child by computer and can also monitor heart rate, movements and skin resistance through a mouse.

And I can’t possibly be the only person who thinks Eve is hot . . . Can I?

We’ve all heard stories about teachers molesting students but, looking at Eve, I wonder how long it’ll be before some tech- savvy students molest their teacher.

To make matters worse, the system’s actual name is “Easy With Eve.” That just sort of lends itself to porn: “Easy Eve”, “Sleazy With Eve”, etc.

The kid who hacks this and makes it pornographic, applying Eve’s interactivity in all the wrong places, is going to be very rich.  So get to work!  Extra credit!

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I don’t want to have sex with a robot. That’s not to say that I won’t have sex with a robot. It’s just not my first choice. I’m probably not alone in this. For now. According to Dr. David Levy, humans will be fucking and loving robots by 2050.

I don’t doubt the fucking part. Humans will fuck anything. If it has a hole, some guy, somewhere, has put his dick into it. And if if it vibrates, some woman, somewhere, has pressed against it. That’s just human nature. We like our genitals to be stimulated. But falling in love with the things?

Well, he’s probably right about that too. Furthermore, robots won’t even have to be smart for people to fall in love with them. I love my cats and they’re stupid. They don’t even stimulate my genitals — unless the orange one stepping on my balls counts. But that hurts and makes me angry with the little fellow.

Here’s what I don’t believe: “If a wife says to the husband, ‘Not tonight, I’ve got a headache,’ she could then say, ‘Why don’t you make it with the robot.’” Dr. Levy may be right that she could say that but I doubt she ever will say that.

Sure, it might be, as he contends, just another form of masturbation but so is a hooker. How often does a wife say: “Sorry hon, got a headache, why don’t you go rent yourself a whore?” Not very often.

And, according to Levy’s own argument, we will be able to love these things. If they’re good enough to fuck and good enough to love, they’re good enough to be jealous of. He can’t just switch their roles from almost-human-lover to machine-whore every time he feels like it. And if he can’t even do it in theory, we won’t be able to do it in practice. Our wives will not allow it.

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I found this article in Reason Magazine — “Is Porn a Catalyst of Sexual Violence” –to be fascinating. In the eighties and nineties the case was made, by the left and right, that porn leads to sexual violence. But the prevalence of smut on the internet, combined with a decline in sexual assaults and — at the very least– the failure of an outright orgy of rape to appear, disproves this. Turns out that porn may actually decrease sexual violence. At the very least, it obviously does not cause it. Not that the people who want to ban it will listen.

I remember an assembly at my school where some frumpish people came in and told us that porn was rape and that, if you watched it, you’d almost certainly become a rapist. It all had the ring of hairy palms and blindness to me. So, being a bright young man, I launched my own study and concluded that porn never made me rape anyone. I can’t say that didn’t make me not rape anyone but, let’s put it this way: I watch porn. I haven’t raped a single person. (To be completely fair, I’m a still a fairly young man and perhaps I will, one day, rape someone. I doubt it but anything is possible. That’s what people say anyway – anything is possible. I have my doubts about that too.)

The fact is – just about everybody watches porn. The people who don’t – well, they’re probably more sexually fucked up than the people who do. It’s not evil. It’s just sex. People like to watch other people hump. Big fucking deal. Hump your brains out for all I care. Just ask first or something. In the meantime, enjoy your humping.

Continue reading »]]> I think this fellow may have some growing up to do. But, as a friend pointed out, if he lived in the states, he would probably be a serial killer and those would probably be dead women.

As for this power and control he has over these dolls – they don’t even have strings. How well can you control them?

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You’ve probably all heard of CB2 by now. The child-robot invented by Hiroshi Ishiguro and Minoru Asada. [I hope Mr. Asada builds better robots than webpages. His is still "under the construction."] CB2 is supposed to look and act like a two year old.

I can only think of one reason to build a child-robot. To fuck it. That’s it. Why else would you would possibly want a mechanical two year old? I’m not saying that it’s okay to fuck a two year old. I’m just saying, it’s okay to fuck a robot that looks and acts like a two year old.

No, wait . . . I’m not saying that either.

All I’m saying is that Mr. Ishiguro builds some pretty odd machines. He even built a copy of himself. I can only think of one reason to build an exact copy of yourself. To fuck it. That’s it.

All right, it’s official. I need to get laid. Anyway, here’s some video of CB2.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psh9OxnDR7o]