Oct
21
The people at Open Book Toronto recently subjected me to the Proust Questionnaire. The Proust Questionnaire was not invented by Marcel Proust, but it was a much loved game by the French author and many of his contemporaries. The idea behind the questionnaire is that the answers are supposed to reveal the respondent’s “true” nature. …
Sep
25
With summer at an end, and inspired by the nude face of Zoetica Ebb during her No Make-Up Week at Biorequiem, I’m showing off my legs. That’s my house robe with shorts by Al Sharif of Syria. The slippers are Prince Alberts, the hat is something Father acquired while in Turkey, the couch is a new La-Z-Boy, …
Sep
06
Like any community of malcontents and weirdos, writers have certain quirks in common. One of these is the trunk. While it might look like someone just sits down and writes a novel, the process is much sloppier than that. Stories are started and abandoned. Some are finished but remain awful. There are pages of notes, …
Aug
27
Just found my baby book while cleaning. Here’s some of Mother’s notes: “Ryan was an extremely good-natured little fellow – crying only when he was hungry. He enjoyed travel; new places and faces and lots of attention. Ryan had a winning smile for everyone and was a true little “charmer.” By six weeks, he was …
Aug
21
I’ve been feeling strangely restless of late and last night, at about 2 am, I asked the wife if she intended to be awake until dawn. Like me, she’s a night owl and usually goes to bed shortly before the sun comes out. ”What time is dawn?” she asked. I checked the weather network …
Aug
20
A picture of me last winter, maybe the winter before. I’m not sure. Taken by ShoMerde.
Aug
03
I wrote a guest editorial for Auxiliary Magazine. You can download the pdf here. I did not write my bio and I’m not taking any responsibility for that. Auxiliary is an alternative fashion, music and lifestyle magazine - available online and in print– and I was asked to do something that related to alt culture. I don’t really know …
Jul
11
To impress a selection of war criminals, our government recently spent a small fortune on an artificial lake and some wooden deck chairs. Since the wife and I are not war criminals (yet) we were not allowed anywhere near this costly display. So we decided to accept the next best thing: A trip to the Muskokas. …
Jul
02
As I take people like Oscar Wilde, Cicero and Friedrich Reck-Malleczenwen as my models of political dissent, I think it’s important to remember that even in horrible times, especially then, beauty, dignity and basic human decency are of paramount importance. Although they are the first things to become improbable, you must never allow your better parts to …
Jun
01
Does this look like a trouble maker to you? Well, maybe . . . YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER!!!
Mar
06
On Thursday March 4th 2010, I married Shalome Hill. I’ll always remember this date. After all, it was the same day that Roy Halladay made his first spring training start in a Phillies uniform, pitching two hitless innings against the hated New York Yankees. It was an important day. Especially for new contracts.
Mar
06
Mar
04
YouTube – Ryan’s Announcement.. I’m getting married today.
Jan
04
I promised you some pics of me playing ping pong and here you go. I’m turning into a five year old. These days, when someone invites me over, my first question is: “What games do you have?” If they don’t have any games, fuck ‘em. I’m done with sitting around and talking like a bunch …
Oct
20
Oct
13
. . . I will crush you all with my robot army!
Sep
28
But it was never really here in the first place. What a lot of rain and chill we had! Anyway, just a picture of me in the backyard on one of the few nice days. With me is a good friend (the dog) and a sworn enemy (the cat). I know many of you might …
Jul
29
Pic by John MacDonald
Jul
12
Picture by John MacDonald
Jul
12
First things first: To those of you that followed me to this new location – thank you. To those of you who bother to change their links to this site – thank you. Here’s what’s going on . . . A few weeks ago WordPress spooked me. They mentioned a problem with the content on …
May
10
Yesterday, on my way to TCAF, I bumped into my new neighbour Anita. Or Geekigirl. I don’t know what I’m supposed to call my real-life peeps online. You know, I never considered “The Grumpy Owl” to be my title until people started calling me that. My name is Ryan Oakley. I only accepted “The Grumpy …
Apr
14
A picture of Grandfather Oakley taken shortly before his death: A picture of Ryan Oakley, taken last week: As Granddad would say, I come by it honestly.
Mar
29
Though I haven’t retired, been fired or quit, it’s been a while since I reviewed anything. What can I tell you? I’ve been busy. But I finally had an evening open up and was able to attend an opera. While you’re waiting for a new Grumpy Owl post, you can read my review here.
Mar
17
Believing a man is as much defined by saying “no” as saying “yes”, I usually refuse interviews. But I made an exception for Coilhouse. You can read it here. And if you’ve come here after reading it, welcome to “The Grumpy Owl.” The primary reason for my agreement to this profile is my respect and …
Although Ryan Oakley began his career as a simple rake (drunk) he has since become Toronto’s most renowned flaneur (no car) and notorious dandy (overdresses). A misanthropic composer of psycho-geographical fictions (sci-fi), he is also a server of food, a tender of bar and a washer of dishes. While performing all these functions with efficiency and elegance (disdain and malice), he somehow finds the time to publicly criticize friends, strangers and cultural crap.
