Category Archive: work

Oct 15

Sexual Tension Email

An old email sent to my job from a female customer.  It’s about me and was forwarded to me by my boss.  I have taken the liberty of changing her name. Hello, I have been to your restaurant several times and absolutely love it. The food and service is wonderful and I always leave full …

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Aug 20

Another One of Those Nights . . .

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A picture of me last winter, maybe the winter before. I’m not sure. Taken by ShoMerde.

Sep 09

The World Stays The Same; The Mind Changes

skull

pic nicked from here Give me a shovel and a piece of earth and I’ll happily dig a rut until you bury me in it.  Adventure is for bored people just as fucking is for horny ones.  I find the careful maintenance of my routines to be adventure enough. Yet change does occur because change …

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Jul 29

Slow Night at Work

Me at work.

Pic by John MacDonald

Aug 25

Hair in Food = Six Months in Jail

monkey_chef

I’ve worked in restaurants for a while and I’ve often heard the stories about cooks intentionally putting things –gross things — into people’s food.  But I’ve only heard these stories.  I’ve never done it, never seen it done and don’t think I know anyone who would actually do it.  Most people recognize that doing such …

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Mar 18

Ryan Oakley/Grumpy Owl/Green Hornet

The fall out from the whole “Pay Your Bill” episode has been odd. For starters, I wasn’t even expecting any fall out. I just figured that one could make a complete spectacle of themselves on Queen West and no one would even notice, let alone care. My mistake. People apparently do notice these things. Tables …

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Mar 17

Pay Your Bill

I had a dine and dash tonight. My first one. The fellow comes in somewhere between five and five thirty in the evening. He orders a margarita and tries to engage me in conversation. Unless I’m in an exceptionally good mood, I avoid engaging the customers beyond the basic pleasantries. It leads to trouble. And …

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Dec 12

The Human Touch

“There’s a simple reason why computers have not taken over teachers’ jobs: They’re boring, unpersuasive, unattractive and soulless.“ Indeed. How I miss the lively, persuavive, beautiful and soulful teachers of my school days. They were always there with a kind word. A computer simply cannot replace the human touch. But, in time, perhaps this will …

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Dec 10

Humping Human Shaped Plastic

One might even say that the weather outside is frightful. But, this winter, things inside promise to be delightful. Thanks to the Japanese company Dolls No Mori, I need never go out and deal with the raw bodies of real women again. It promises to be a great new year. I will no longer have …

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Dec 09

Chessboxing

One round chess; one round boxing. I would love to see IBM try to do to Tyson what they did to Kasparov. It’s just too bad that Deep Blue doesn’t have ears. But the programmers do.

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