Nov
30
It’s hard to invent a new drink. Bartenders have been bored into becoming mad chemists for years. These days, the standard thing to do is to mix some fancy crap with some vodka and call it a “blank-tini.” But that shouldn’t stop one from trying. The other night, bored like many a bartender before, I …
Oct
15
An old email sent to my job from a female customer. It’s about me and was forwarded to me by my boss. I have taken the liberty of changing her name. Hello, I have been to your restaurant several times and absolutely love it. The food and service is wonderful and I always leave full …
Aug
20
A picture of me last winter, maybe the winter before. I’m not sure. Taken by ShoMerde.
May
03
“A bartender must be a good listener. He must be able to listen to five different conversations at one time and blend them all into one so that you have 10 happy people at the same time. Never discuss religion or politics. Memory! You must remember their drinks. And sometimes you must remember to forget …
Apr
29
daryl banks and his iphone.
Apr
26
pic nicked from here “Mac, you ever been in love?” “No, I’ve been a bartender all my life.” –Wyatt Earp, “My Darling Clementine”
Apr
19
“I have no particular love for the idealised ‘worker’ as he appears in the bourgeois Communist’s mind, but when I see an actual flesh-and-blood worker in conflict with his natural enemy, the policeman, I do not have to ask myself which side I am on.” -George Orwell
Apr
13
daryl banks and his iphone. Those are my hands. I know them like the back of my hands.
Apr
12
pic nicked from here “Be in my joint in two hours, we’re forming a fuckin’ government.” –Al Swearengen
Apr
05
pic nicked from here “The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, …
Mar
29
pic nicked from here “Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’” –Rodney Dangerfield
Mar
22
pic nicked from here “If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.” ~Author Unknown
Mar
15
pic nicked from here “Yeah, one. Ones too many and a hundreds not enough. That’s all.” –Nat
Mar
08
“Your credit’s fine, Mr. Torrance.” –Lloyd the Bartender
Mar
01
Bertie the Bartender “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. ” –Rodney Dangerfield
Feb
22
pic nicked from here “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” –Richard Braunstein
Feb
15
Bartender, San Franciso “Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch ‘em in the face, and for what?” –Moe Syzlak
Although Ryan Oakley began his career as a simple rake (drunk) he has since become Toronto’s most renowned flaneur (no car) and notorious dandy (overdresses). A misanthropic composer of psycho-geographical fictions (sci-fi), he is also a server of food, a tender of bar and a washer of dishes. While performing all these functions with efficiency and elegance (disdain and malice), he somehow finds the time to publicly criticize friends, strangers and cultural crap.
