Dec
31
2011. You might have heard. I was published. Yeah, congrats, I know. Since then, it seems like every conversation I’ve had is about the book. People tell me that they plan on buying it, have bought it, inform me of where they are in it, tell me their thoughts about it, sometimes ask questions and …
Dec
22
I’ve put some hours in and made an illustrated, tumblr version of Guy Debord’s 1967 book The Society of the Spectacle. You can find the first post here. When you finish reading it, simply hit NEWER and it’ll bring you to the next paragraph. Some of you are probably familiar with the book. Others of …
Nov
02
I’m gonna file this one under – when it’s not evil to blog straight off a press release . . . November 1, 2011 (Toronto) – Robots of all shapes, sizes and skills will take over the Ontario Science Centre November 12 and 13 for the annual Robots Rule extravaganza. Some 20 of Canada’s top …
Oct
24
Having my book launch and doing my first reading was a lot like losing my virginity. Except I was sober, did not ejaculate in my pants and no one cried. But both experiences were discombobulating. So far, every authorial moment has been very different than advertised. I’ve received the acceptance letter and signed the contract, gone through the edits, …
Oct
21
The people at Open Book Toronto recently subjected me to the Proust Questionnaire. The Proust Questionnaire was not invented by Marcel Proust, but it was a much loved game by the French author and many of his contemporaries. The idea behind the questionnaire is that the answers are supposed to reveal the respondent’s “true” nature. …
Oct
19
If you’re in Toronto this Saturday, I’m launching my novel, Technicolor Ultra Mall. Here’s the details: When: Saturday, Oct. 22, 3pm Where: Bakka Books. 84 Harbord St. What: You’ll get to meet and chat with me, buy a book, have it signed, hear me give a short talk, then after, we’ll all head down the …
Oct
15
. . . I know I’ve been one lately and you, dear reader, have my apologies. I’ve been quite busy. Doing publicity for my book requires a certain amount of effort and I’m rewriting another one. In the meantime, I’m trying to keep some activity on here by putting up pictures I have stored on …
Oct
02
I never turn down an opportunity to travel to the suburbs. While quite a few of my urban cohorts view the regions outside Toronto with disdain, I see them as exotic foreign climes. Perhaps because, unlike a lot of people in Toronto, I’ve never been native to one. I grew up in a village and moved to …
Aug
01
Jun
14
Long time readers of this blog will be familiar with the character of Nan. Part Joan Crawford, part Brothers Kray, she often acted as the mouthpiece for much of the family wisdom and inherited knowledge I’ve been subjected to. But most of the humor –to me– of this Nan character laid in how little she had in common …
May
06
It feels like I’ve been attending and complaining about FAT (Toronto’s Alternative Fashion Week) for years. Double checking that feeling against my blog archives, I’m surprised to learn that my memory is correct. My first mention of it is back in 2006 and now it’s, um, a different year. Also: Holy shit, I’ve kept this blog for …
Mar
30
I wrote a short article with five links about bespoke for Aggregation Magazine 05. My article is here, the issue is here and the magazine is here. It looks fine on a desktop but the magazine is optimized for the iPad. So, if you have an iPad, this is the time to use it for …
Feb
20
I have my first sort of personal workspace in years. Like a lot of people, I dream of having an office but lack the space. For the moment, I’m quite happy to have my computer off a stool and my ass off the couch. Editing the book while bent over was playing riot with my …
Feb
14
Feb
14
I never want to hear another single person complain about Valentine’s Day. You have no reason to complain. You’re single! If anything, you should be happy. Being single on Valentine’s Day is like being an atheist during Easter Mass. You have no obligations and tomorrow the chocolate goes on sale. No one is making you …
Jan
20
“The redemption of objects is impossible except by virtue of becoming an object. As the work of art must destroy and alienate itself to become an absolute commodity, so the dandy-artist must become a living corpse, constantly tending toward another, a creature essentially nonhuman and antihuman.” –Giorgio Agamben
Jan
15
Female tears of grief reduce arousal in men. And not just because of the smeared makeup. Apparently, lady tears smell icky. Just a slight whiff turns men off. According to the study’s director, Noam Sobel: “We know that women tend to cry more during menstruation, when it’s not an effective time to conceive.” So ladies, …
Jan
02
As if a blogger needs a special day to talk about themselves . . . But if I let one pass, I’ll probably have my blogging licence revoked. 2010 was a long year. Something like 365 days. And some of those days seemed to be of greater personal import than others. I was married on March 4 …
Dec
26
For as long as I can remember, my family has broke out Christmas crackers and eaten dinner in paper crowns. The Christmas Cracker was invented in 1847 by a London baker named Tom Smith. These were originally called Cosaques after the crack of the Cossack’s whip. As for the paper crown, this apparently takes its roots from …
Dec
24
I took care of my Christmas shopping one day earlier than normal this year. (Normal is a funny word to apply here, since I don’t normally do any Christmas shopping.) But I know some people are out there looking for gifts. And with today’s portable internets, maybe this quick guide can help these poor, wretched …
Nov
30
It’s hard to invent a new drink. Bartenders have been bored into becoming mad chemists for years. These days, the standard thing to do is to mix some fancy crap with some vodka and call it a “blank-tini.” But that shouldn’t stop one from trying. The other night, bored like many a bartender before, I …
Nov
27
I only rarely smoke from this pipe and never in public. Being large, ostentatious and fragile, I dislike my pipes to upstage me. Plus I’m not even a Sherlock Holmes fan. Like Jesus, he’s a bit of a know-it-all. A friend picked this up for me in Turkey. I had given him money to buy …
Although Ryan Oakley began his career as a simple rake (drunk) he has since become Toronto’s most renowned flaneur (no car) and notorious dandy (overdresses). A misanthropic composer of psycho-geographical fictions (sci-fi), he is also a server of food, a tender of bar and a washer of dishes. While performing all these functions with efficiency and elegance (disdain and malice), he somehow finds the time to publicly criticize friends, strangers and cultural crap.
