Category Archive: art

May 20

Today’s Bulletin

mathmodelhel

While adding another second to the clock, The International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems (IERS)uncovered an almost perfectly preserved human body below a layer of invented time. Atsushi Koyama Believed to be a herder or perhaps a chieftain from The Modern Era, the body was located beneath late June in the region of After Eight …

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May 19

Today’s Bulletin

movement

CCTV cameras revealed that a cheap swarm of racist, anti-gay mini-drones swarmed an event for black lesbians, injuring six and causing the event to be cancelled. The drones, tiny, intelligent gliders called the “Cicada” but more formally known as the Covert Autonomous Disposable Aircraft, were deployed by a gang of white male micro-cops and are …

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May 06

Today’s Bulletin

DzM7mGU

Paintings of images from the Gaia-ESO Spectroscopic Survey have been discovered on a 1.73-acre site in the middle of downtown Seoul. Archaeologists have deconvolved the paintings of images and found 37 signs of polar caps on Pluto. Large and small, the images were originally constructed during the early part of Korea’s Joseon Dynasty, which lasted …

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Apr 29

Today’s Bulletin

Hoarders of images ERROR In a spherical map of galaxy superclusters, hoarders of images uncovered a chilling connection in a pattern of surgeries performed upon the luxury of private languages. Hoarders of Images discovered that The Socialized Animals of The Old Regime organized metaphors by surgically negating certain truths. Genetic engineering, neutering, declawing, debarking, wing …

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Apr 16

Today’s Bulletin

await the comet

WARWICK, R.I. — A mysterious and evil cult sacrificed four people staying at the Motel 6 on Jefferson Boulevard as a result of the hotel chain’s agreement to provide Control Force with a daily guest list, Mayor Scott Avedisian said Tuesday. Sharing The Names of Six Motel 6 Guests led a fleet of bloodsucking drones …

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Apr 10

Today’s Bulletin

gland

MANATEE — Neurological inspectors from the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation of Black Holes and The Strangest and Most Fascinating Objects returned to an interactive map of The Inner World on Wednesday and found those weird, alien emojis that you’ve been seeing everywhere. There were dead and live emojis strewn all over the …

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Mar 30

Today’s Bulletin

The last US combat troops left a digitally constructed radioactive town. They exhibited symptoms of depression in the unbroken loneliness of a Starbucks. They have trained the local Control Forces to use a therapeutic technique called cognitive reappraisal to investigate the intersection of computing technologies and human emotions. Their goal is to create foreign policy …

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Mar 27

LOG 002

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Our Host (that’s me, hi) has returned from a brief trip to Mexico. Returning with him was a small but hungry psychic parasite. Last night, this creature caused a series of false awakening nightmares wherein our host kept waking up in Mexico and was being attacked by a series of malevolent demons working in pairs …

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Mar 06

Today’s Bulletin

robot underground

BREAKING: Archaeologists unearthed a mysterious (and cool) lead coffin buried just feet away from the former grave of The King of Aggressive Fashion in a lava cave on Mars. CONFIRMED: The coffin contained a Greek statue of a self-professed holy man, who had moved to Mars after almost a year on the run—and three months …

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Feb 27

Today’s Bulletin

death of a cyborg

NAGASAKI, JAPAN: Drones controlled by militant human farmers have destroyed a hotel’s collection of robots, according to a video published online in the name of the radical human group. The robots, some identified as future antiquities that will date back to The Prehistoric Era of Machines, were toppled, smashed and broken up by sledgehammer wielding drones. The …

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