Ryan Oakley

Author's details

Name: Ryan Oakley
Date registered: January 2, 2010
URL: http://thegrumpyowl.com/

Biography

Aurora Award and Sunburst Award finalist. Author of Technicolor Ultra Mall.

Latest posts

  1. Today’s Bulletin — December 17, 2014
  2. Today’s Bulletin — December 16, 2014
  3. Today’s Bulletin — December 15, 2014
  4. Today’s Bulletin — December 12, 2014
  5. Today’s Bulletin — December 11, 2014

Author's posts listings

Dec 17

Today’s Bulletin

jellyfish

Swarms of rogue drones have killed up to 300,000 salmon at a charitable fish farm that hoped to supply food to The Affected Area. The mauve jellyfish drones are small enough to get inside salmon cages. While critics have called these drones a genocidal plot designed to attack the already inadequate food supplies of The …

Continue reading »

Dec 16

Today’s Bulletin

Wearing nothing but a rumor of horrid makeup bought from a Hampshire clergyman, a local rope artist lowered a network of flocking robots into The Azure Abyss. There, it plans to measure the thickness of the ice that separates The Inaccessible Realm from The Mundane Reality. These measurements will contribute to the unlimited production of identical, …

Continue reading »

Dec 15

Today’s Bulletin

electric ball comet

If you looked out the window while returning from space, you might see radio controlled mice hoisting a banner depicting the lingering memory of a battle with serpents over a gate into The Prison Complex ERROR over a gate into The Prison Complex. Best understood as a suburban teenager hanging from a swingset outside The Demolished …

Continue reading »

Dec 12

Today’s Bulletin

B4rS8slIAAIqSuC

New simulations show that the deaths of a man and woman, whose bodies were found in a Carmichael area home Friday morning, have been deemed suspicious. The woman was wearing a pink prison uniform to warn guards of her proclivities and the man wore nothing except a 4-D printed birdsong that praised the statue of …

Continue reading »

Dec 11

Today’s Bulletin

festa-di-macello

A massive new study has revealed a horrendous amount exposed time sprouting in the sand. The exposed time is absorbed into cells, causing inflammation and destroying healthy cells. It cannot be built in boxes. It is illegal to stand still. INCLUDED: There is by now a fairly clear consensus in the global health community that …

Continue reading »

Dec 09

Culture Bulletin: The [REDACTED]

spacer

The [REDACTED] might be a slow motion nightmare of virtual laboratories devoted to “The Study for Development of Improved Interrogation Techniques.” The [REDACTED] was born after World War II in the Oberursel prison, which operated as a “secret black site.” There the CIA, other U.S. intelligence operatives, and even former Nazi doctors hired by the U.S., …

Continue reading »

Dec 05

Culture Bulletin: How to Build an Ichthyoallyeinotoxismic Orgasm Altar to The Worm God Zero

Die grosse boa

The rumors are true. Ichthyoallyeinotoxismic Orgasm Altars to The Worm God Zero are real. It’s not a gimmick you’ll find over the counter-top of a bodega, nestled between the candles to invoke ܢܹܪܓܵܐܠ The Dunghill Cock or Aztec Death Whistles emblazoned with the logos of your favorite sports team. It’s legit, it works wonderfully and …

Continue reading »

Dec 04

Today’s Bulletin

We have successfully ERROR Today’s launch of a new tourism industry has been delayed by an incorporeal infrastructure of murky red nightmares and microbiol vulnerabilities spawned in the bowels of The Prison Industrial Complex. Some have pointed out that, contrary to decades of manufactured public opinion, space is not actually full of soothing voices speaking …

Continue reading »

Dec 03

Today’s Bulletin

a plague of demons

  LOST: About 100 brains, including that of clock tower sniper, Charles Whitman, have disappeared from the poison nexus of child abuse, racism and neglect at The University of Texas at Austin.  “We think somebody may have taken the brains, but we don’t know at all for sure,” psychology Professor Tim Schallert, co-curator of the …

Continue reading »

Dec 02

Today’s Bulletin

crab

RECENT REPORTS INDICATE: Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is a 16,000-kilometer-wide storm of rumors started by red crabs looking for a porn-blocking workaround. According to the foundational delusion of their overmind, the crabs originate in The Desire District of the Tarantula Nebula, which we place within the Large Magellanic Cloud, a relatively small galaxy that orbits …

Continue reading »

Older posts «