Ryan Oakley

Author's details

Name: Ryan Oakley
Date registered: January 2, 2010
URL: http://thegrumpyowl.com/

Biography

Aurora Award and Sunburst Award finalist. Author of Technicolor Ultra Mall.

Latest posts

  1. TODAY’S BULLETIN — November 21, 2014
  2. culture bulletin — November 21, 2014
  3. TODAY’S BULLETIN — November 20, 2014
  4. TODAY’S BULLETIN — November 19, 2014
  5. CULTURE BULLETIN — November 18, 2014

Author's posts listings

Nov 21

TODAY’S BULLETIN

03-frank-r-paul_900

BREAKING: A compendium of critical autopsies have requested the repeal of The Strong Law. They claim The Strong Law has birthed eugenics, South African Nationalists with symbols made of sevens, the M33 Cluster Bomb and a society of professional vactionists who argue about the price of souvenir wombs with their starving victims in The Affected …

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Nov 21

culture bulletin

A portable version of the stressful workplace has been designed by The Society of Comorbid Alienations. They claim that it is a less lethal testing ground for the metasyntactic hexes known to afflict those who engage in the hermeneutics of plagiarism.     A rumor claims that this portable version of the stressful workplace turns …

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Nov 20

TODAY’S BULLETIN

FOUND: A neuromorphic chip sitting in the tunnels of The Super Prison. It will experience a sense of deja vu about the outcome of today’s election. PREDICTION: The Smooth Talking Optics Man will ascend into The Representation Simulator and claim that its ascension validates The Representation Simulator. The Smooth Talking Optics Man will claim to …

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Nov 19

TODAY’S BULLETIN

joapa

Your sleep has been compromised by photography of Your 17 Deepest Shames. The show was produced down the street by collectors of conversations and is distributed on a voodoo spiderweb by The Memory Curators. It will be projected onto your eyelids for an entire pay period and will leak into tomorrow’s conversations with members of …

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Nov 18

CULTURE BULLETIN

When intimate human connections to the animal and the dead are severed, the loss of proximity leads to atrophy of the joys and sorrows, dramatic changes in literalness of telepathic communion and, in many cases, a mechanical brain syndrome created by a greater surplus of labor.  Computers are not to be trusted. Computers are not …

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Nov 18

TODAY’S BULLETIN

BREAKING: Control Force has declared A Preemptive State of Emergency. Control Force has issued warnings. Control Force intends to be violent. Control Force is across the country. Control Force is out of control. You are not out of control. Control Force will see to that. Control Force desires control. Total Control. Control Force will use …

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Nov 17

SANTA MUERTE’S ARC

santa muetres's arc

Before being scuttled in mid September 2014 (to avoid human detection via intelligent analysis of the shadowy implications of graphs showing high rates of drinking and related psychic numbing disorders) SANTA MUERTE’S ARC was used for roughly forty years to evacuate exactly half of Earth’s life into the past. You might’ve have read an article …

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Nov 16

CULTURE BULLETIN

o-BODY-EMOTIONS-900

A fresh onslaught outbreak of The Creeping Bleak has been reported in The Economic Exclusion Zone by a cabal of submissive and depressed fishermen. Their report started as whispered barroom gossip about The Sapphic Mermaid Union. Supported by Youtube Comment sections and the nosy man down the street, these whispers quickly leaked into The Local Government …

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Nov 16

TODAY’S BULLETIN

breakfast

Tension was brewed in the back of the mirror cloaked police cruiser when a middle aged officer translated his abhorrent desires into selfies and “indecent pseudo photographs” which he shared on the psychic poker-chips used in the bathrooms of The Dementia Network. He was discovered and detained by active and reactive moderators when The Nation’s …

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Nov 14

TODAY’S BULLETIN

Aubrey_Beardsley_spider_battle_in_1894_True_History

Unearthing cannibal time bombs through a wormhole on Ancient Secrets of The Science Channel.  It itches. It hurts.  UPDATE: 11 police cars are watching the new attitudes of The Train Wreck. They have unleashed The Rhythm of Spiders. Their dream interpretations performed through dance are blocking the colonizer’s street. This street is the vital access point between …

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