Ryan Oakley

Author's details

Name: Ryan Oakley
Date registered: January 2, 2010
URL: http://thegrumpyowl.com/

Biography

Aurora Award and Sunburst Award finalist. Author of Technicolor Ultra Mall.

Latest posts

  1. Today’s Bulletin — January 31, 2015
  2. Today’s Bulletin — January 27, 2015
  3. Today’s Bulletin — January 23, 2015
  4. Today’s Bulletin — January 21, 2015
  5. Today’s Bulletin — January 20, 2015

Author's posts listings

Jan 31

Today’s Bulletin

zones__stephan_zirwes_08

STOCKTON, Calif.— A herd of fourteen goats containing silk-making genes from a golden orb spider were detained after they used a mesh of electrified nanosilk to try and pull several people over in Stockton, animal control said Friday. The Animal Service Division received several calls that the goats were using a siren and PA system to …

Continue reading »

Jan 27

Today’s Bulletin

Inside the The Emblem Zoo, members of The Consciousness Industries tabled a bill to extend The Edict of Grace. They also proposed a controversial amendment that would abolish the mind-controlled robotic limbs described in Certain Modernist Works. The members claimed to acting on authority granted to them by a letter passed beneath The Transparent Wall. …

Continue reading »

Jan 23

Today’s Bulletin

skeleton rampage

Luxury Developers have received approval to build a hotel based on vintage crystals and The Mysteries of Tibetan Mountains on the site of Hollywood’s Seediest Address, where it will replace the Villa Carlotta. The announcement of approval of the hotel was delayed when a totally unrelated disorder grouping formed on the construction site. The disorder grouping …

Continue reading »

Jan 21

Today’s Bulletin

dali

Artificial intelligence helped Microsoft researchers choose a road in a yellow wood. The path they chose refashioned how we think about mental illness and generated tiny images of friends. Researchers hope this path will lead to the place where visual memories are made. One road, not taken, led directly to 1994. SUBCLUDED: In 1994, suburban and rural …

Continue reading »

Jan 20

Today’s Bulletin

tumblr_mblktz2JF71qzpy7ko1_50

A suspicious book of humiliating punishments has been extracted from the memory of The Government Mission. UPDATE: After shares in the book were traded on The Public Exchange, its contents were scratched on very thin sheets of lead in tiny letters, then rolled, folded, and pierced with nails. Parts of this bound tablet were then …

Continue reading »

Jan 16

Today’s Bulletin

penis

On this day in 1927, The Managing Editor for Reviews and Product Coverage, who was upset about being denied service at a bar went on a rampage with a golf club, smashing car windshields and hissing at the waitstaff. He made lunging movements of the head and spat venom from his fangs at curious bystanders. …

Continue reading »

Jan 15

Today’s Bulletin

cleopatra

A contagious composite of Cleopatra’s suicidal beauty has escaped from a Stanford laboratory operated by the Swiss national health insurance fund. Experts warn that it resembles an asp and may be venomous. Scientists had assembled the composite in an attempt to extract value from dead time by using a novel method of analysis to elucidate and …

Continue reading »

Jan 12

Culture Bulletin

An artist's representation of what teens might look like.

Coolhunters stumbled upon a previously undiscovered tribe of hot local teens in your area. Coolhunters were alerted to the presence of the teens when their canine units picked up the odor of Sigma Pseudo™ Corpse Scent Formulation II, which is used to train dogs to detect corpses, and discovered the teens gathered in the backyard …

Continue reading »

Jan 10

Today’s Bulletin

FdA5swa

As part of its ongoing revolution in image processing, The Church Algorithm State changed its view of the burnt wood exterior of a cheap community college located on Mercury’s north pole and discovered yet another way to extract images from a complex and fractured environment. It calls it SparkleVision. SparkleVision considers each piece of glitter to …

Continue reading »

Jan 02

Today’s Bulletin

dog fashion

Speedy autonomous drones for urban operations went on an early morning rampage and left a trail of blood and broken windows in a south Tacoma neighborhood. Witness Jason Christian said he woke up around 4 a.m. to the sound of breaking glass and saw a drone crawling through a large picture window across the street …

Continue reading »

Older posts «