Ryan Oakley

Author's details

Name: Ryan Oakley
Date registered: January 2, 2010
URL: http://thegrumpyowl.com/


Aurora Award and Sunburst Award finalist. Author of Technicolor Ultra Mall. Keeper of The Grumpy Owl. Husband, worker, malcontent. A simple man in complicated shoes. Dandyish.

Latest posts

  1. Genuine Suede Tiki Mug Umbrellas — April 18, 2014
  2. New Pew Study: U.S. Views of Technology and the Future — April 18, 2014
  3. Hollywood Mutant Gang Bang and Teen Sex Energy — April 17, 2014
  4. Centipede Breaks Out of Snake’s Stomach But Dies Anyway — April 17, 2014
  5. Skeuomorphic Noises and the Electric Car — April 14, 2014

Most commented posts

  1. A Non-Vicarious, Straight-Up STFU — 44 comments
  2. Launched — 17 comments
  3. White Man Carries His New Burden in #Kony Tote Bag — 15 comments
  4. I’ve Sold My First Novel — 11 comments

Author's posts listings

Apr 18

Genuine Suede Tiki Mug Umbrellas

tiki bar

What we generally think of as a tiki is a product of American pop culture, originating in California, at “exotic” island-themed restaurants such as Don the Beachcomber and Trader Vic’s, which first opened in the 1930s. Both restaurants served elaborate rum punches, such as Zombies and Mai Tais, in ceramic mugs styled like tikis. The …

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Apr 18

New Pew Study: U.S. Views of Technology and the Future

the glass city

A new Pew Research Center study indicates that Americans expect a lot of scientific and technological progress in the next few decades but are less than impressed with much of what’s coming in the short term. That is, they believe these things will exist but they don’t necessarily like them. 66% think it would be a …

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Apr 17

Hollywood Mutant Gang Bang and Teen Sex Energy

teen sex energy

  The staying power of the bullshit comes from the way it harnesses the world-destroying forces of Youth and Sex, to control the sites where they are released, and to use their latent energy to perpetuate the bullshit. Youth and Sex are like two elements held in suspension within a battery: A reaction that would ordinarily …

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Apr 17

Centipede Breaks Out of Snake’s Stomach But Dies Anyway


Researchers found a centipede that had torn through a viper’s stomach and into freedom sweet freedom before dying. Live Science says: The unfortunate nose-horned viper (Vipera ammodytes) was a young female that stretched about 2 inches longer than the centipede (7.9 vs. 6 inches, or 20.3 vs. 15.4 centimeters), the researchers wrote last month in a …

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Apr 14

Skeuomorphic Noises and the Electric Car

skeumorphic danger car

Here’s an interesting thing from a while back about the noise and electric car will make. They’re very quiet and this is very dangerous. So sounds have to be added to increase their safety. And there’s even a name for this process of putting old ideas into new technologies. Skeuomorphic is the technical term for …

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Apr 13

Owl Pellets: Skimming the Electronic Cupcake Voices of Quantum Disgust

seperation anxiety

It’s been a decent few weeks around here. I took some time off from writing. Bought a new coffee table, moved some furniture around, and drove my wife crazy until I figured that, for the sake of staying married, I should maybe stop with the taking some time off writing thing. Besides, I was getting …

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Apr 12

Logical Nanobots Implanted in Cockroaches


Logical nanobots have been implanted in cockroaches where they can act like a computer. Why would people do such a thing? Probably because they’re perverts. Or to deliver drugs. To other people. Who are probably perverts. In the future. Which is definitely a . . . pic nicked from here Live Science says: The experimenters …

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Apr 10

Spiders Cause Mazda Recall of 42,000 Sedans

An artist's rendering of mechanics attempting to fix Mazda's spider problem.

Mazda has recalled 42,000 sedans because they’re a nesting ground for spiders. It’s not just the creepy critter factor either. These spiders present an actual danger. Medical Daily says: According to Mazda spokespeople, this particular breed of spider, known as the yellow sac spider, somehow is wildly attracted to crawling into the gas tank, where …

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Apr 09

Devil in the Room: Short Movie About Sleep Paralysis


Devil in the Room is an eight minute movie about sleep paralysis. I used to suffer from sleep paralysis and it’s pretty fucking terrifying. But, maybe even worse, is the stuff you think it is before you learn about it. This is a good movie that gets into the science behind what’s happening and, maybe, …

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Apr 09

Poodle Exercise with Humans

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