YouTube – Smurfy Brown does Michael Jackson.
Vid by The Chairman
Many of my fellow Torontonians may have seen this fellow. He’s been a fixture on Queen West for years. What the casual observer may not know is that he has a thousand and one names and, if you recite them, he will appear in a puff of crack smoke. He will only vanish after you throw him out.
(Just off the top of my head, he’s known as The Alley Gnome, The Gnome, Get-Out, Stevie, Smurfy Brown and Osama Bum Laden. To me, he’s the Alley Gnome or The Gnome. Most of these names were based on a giant hat that he wore for years before suddenly switching his style up.)
Though I doubt passer-bys think much of him, those who live or work on Queen West spend a great amount of time thinking about him. He’s a rugged lil’ fuck who spends all his time outdoors. He’s not your friend and, should you see the staff at your local bistro ejecting him, you should know that there is a good reason for it. He’s earned every ban he’s ever got. Don’t come to his defence. You know nothing.
He’s crazier than Michael Jackson. Well, maybe.
2 comments
the Chairman
August 7, 2009 at 12:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I forgot the name Osama Bum Laden, (or Usama as we originally spelled it before realizing the first three letters looked too familiar)
anyway it made me laugh again just like the first time I heard it, I think Tara White coin that name.
Kaelah James on the other hand claims to be the author of Smurfy Brown, brilliant.
They called him Get-Out at Rotate, and the Beer Store people called him Budget. It was the faze during which the Gnome (as I call him) wore multiple toques,
one of which was advertising Budget car rentals.
Any other names? Anyone?
In a separate mail I’ll attached a couple of photos of the Gnome in case you’re thinking of doing a bigger piece on him, ( Anna also has amassed quite a library of his images)
Like it or not, Smurfy Brown has highly developed fashion sense. Remember the years of multiple layers of winter coats with ripped shoulders?
It really looked like haute couture. He’s moved on since, and his style keeps on changing. Currently his clothes are clean and neat.
I spotted him again this morning, and he’s unrecognisable. The beard is still there but the hair is gone. It looks like someone has forcefully hacked it off, very uneven and messy,
but then again what do I know about hair styles. The Gnome has always been way ahead of his time.
Ryan Oakley
August 7, 2009 at 4:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You watch what the gnome wears today, you see what Queen West wears tomorrow.