Last Friday was International Pipe Smoking Day. I missed it. Well, I smoked my pipe and bitched about tobacco bans but I do that every day. So, without knowing it, I participated. Good for me.
The purpose of IPSD is to celebrate the fraternity of pipe smokers across borders. You may not know it but we have a sense of brotherhood. Two pipe smokers can sit down and discuss the art for hours. Speaking in jargon, we’ll recommend blends, the appropriate vessel to smoke them in and talk about flavours. The conversation may occasionally veer into cigars or hookahs but cigarettes will only be mentioned with absolute contempt.
Most of us started by smoking those. Then we grew up. Cigarettes are for children. Once you reach college age, you need to decide whether you’re going to be a cigar smoker or a pipe smoker; a money man or an idea man. But what you cannot continue to be is a cigarette man. Those people are just suckers.
Cigarettes represent the very worst parts of our society. And it’s not the health problems. We don’t care about that. It’s the incredible lack of quality. Not only of the tobacco but of the experience.
When one smokes a cigarette, they are on someone else’s clock. It’s a mass produced little tube of tobacco. You smoke it until it’s done. One smokes a pipe until they’re done. Then they put it out or start another.
The only purpose of a cigarette is to addict you. Some fellow has packed that thing full of every chemical he could think of. Not to improve the taste but just to increase your craving so that you buy the next pack. It’s just nicotine.
And I love nicotine. It focuses the mind, gets the short term memory working and helps psychotics. It’s a wonderful little stimulant. But the difference between the nicotine delivered by a cigarette and delivered by a pipe is about the same as the caffeine delivered by a cup of instant coffee and by your favourite roast. It’s an important part of the package but it’s not –by any stretch of the imagination– the whole thing. Cigarettes make it the whole thing.
They are the very worst expression of consumerism.
Taking no skill, no thought and no taste, any idiot can just buy and smoke cigarettes. Many do. But a pipe takes time to learn. You must figure out how to properly pack and light it, how to keep it alight, what tobacco you favour, what bowl best suits it and where you want to smoke what. It takes time, energy and research. Cigarettes just take your money.
The only reason to not smoke a pipe is that you’re afraid of looking foolish. I have nothing to say to people who fear that. If you’re willing to die for your tobacco habit, you should be willing to look a bit silly to enjoy it. Besides, unlike cigarettes, pipes come in variety of shapes, not only meant to influence the taste but also to compliment your face. When it comes to accessories, they are far superior to cigarettes.
If you smoke and have reached the ripe old age of twenty, I would recommend that you start looking into alternatives. Experiment with cigars, cigarillos, hookahs and, of course, pipes. Find what suits you and stick to it. And remember, something has to kill you but nothing has to be enjoyable. That part is up to you.
3 comments
1 ping
Kevin
February 22, 2009 at 11:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I couldn’t agree more. That’s a great post Ryan.
Nicholaus
June 3, 2009 at 10:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Bravo Sir! I dig your style! May I ask what variety of pipe tobacco you favor most? I am thinking English blends, am I correct in assuming?
Ryan Oakley
June 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dunhill English blends to be specific. 965, Early Morning, London Mixture etc. I also like Davidoff’s blends but they’re a bit overpriced.
Pipe Smoking is Different and Better | Pipes Magazine - Community for the 21st Century Tobacco Pipe Smoker
February 22, 2009 at 11:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
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