This originally appeared on The Worldwide Culture Gonzo Squad Inc.
Meeting another human can be difficult. Meeting the member of a different species is absolutely fraught with peril. Even with dogs –a group we’ve long dealt with in personal and professional capacities– misunderstandings remain possible. The wrong hand gesture can result in bloodshed. The sniffing of a crotch may lead to cries of “PERVERT!”
When it’s that tough to meet another mammal, the task of politely engaging a whole other order of being, a robot, seems absolutely daunting. How are we to know what they like, what gives offence and what we should be offended by? If even that master of manners, Prince Charles, stumbles when meeting Asimo, how can we mere mortals hope to get by?
The answers are much simpler than one may expect. Though human-robot etiquette is not yet codified, it still operates on the same basic principles of human to human manners.
The first thing to remember is that you are a human and, as difficult as it may be, you should take some pride in this. Acting like a robot –doing that dance and all– is patronizing. Don’t forget, the robot is attempting to understand you as a human. Asking it to understand you as a human who acts like a robot is placing too heavy a load upon its metal shoulders.
At best you will be incomprehensible; at worst insulting.
This does not mean, of course, that you should make no concessions to their culture. It simply means that you should always remember that you are not a member of this culture. No matter how well you dance the robot, you are not a robot and don’t really understand what it is to be a robot. You are not “down.”
Prince Charles’ difficulty in meeting Asimo came about when he failed to make any concessions to robot culture. He ignored Asimo until this robot was, humiliatingly, forced to attract his attention with a dance of its own. By forcing it to do so, Charles’ revealed a deep human chauvinism that bordered upon outright bigotry.
If he had of been more understanding of these mechanical creatures, he would have known that he was to treat Asimo much like a human. If class-consciousness is important in politely dealing with other humans, it is utterly vital in dealing with robots.
Just as one does not attempt to engage in sex with the waitress, as doing so is a form of molestation, one should first determine a robot’s rank before deciding how to proceed with them. Asimo could be considered, if not the king of the robots, then their diplomat to humanity.
As with humans, the giveaway is the appearance. Although the most advanced robots look nothing like us, they will adopt an interface to communicate with us. The mind body duality has long been overthrown in human philosophy but it remains very real to robots. They have a division between software and hardware and will often adopt the body most suited to their task.
As a basic rule, the more human a robot looks, the more it should be treated like a human. The more it looks like a dog, the more it should be treated like a dog. If it does not look like any of these, if it is in simple “work clothes” it should be treated as a worker. Allow it to perform its function free of molestation and ridiculous requests.
Prince Charles made the error of treating Asimo like a Roomba. This is as ill-mannered as treating a Roomba like Asimo.
Even if you follow these basic rules, there is the possibility of social malfunction. Please observe the following clip, in which the former Prime Minister of Japan meets the humanoid T63 and, though he acted correctly, was sprayed with steam.
[youtube=http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=JnR5IDWfN4A&eurl=http://gonzosquad.tumblr.com/]
What is important to remember in such a situation is that the single most impolite thing a person can ever do, is to point out the bad manners of another person. It is the same with robots. Should you find yourself being sprayed with steam, you must handle yourself with aplomb . Treat it like you would a fart from an elderly person. React with good natured humour or simply pretend nothing happened. Whatever you do, don’t panic.
If the robot meant to offend you, there would have been warning signs. Its eyes would have turned bright red and your face may have been scalded from the skull.
Robots are our inventions but not our slaves. As they learn from us, it’s important to remember that they will also learn their manners from us. Above all, treat them much like you would wish to be treated. The next time you ask a female chatbot to show you her tits, take a moment and reflect about how you would feel should a gang of leering robots did the same to your mother.
Treating robots with respect and good manners is not only the best and easiest way to prevent their future revolution but, most importantly, to prevent its necessity.
