[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGDndcxH-O4&feature=related]

So now you’re into day two of being me. You’re dressed for success but ready to fail. Yesterday you worked twelve and a half hours in 30 degree weather so you’re a bit sore. You woke up at one in the afternoon and are just getting ready for another day at work. You’re drinking a coffee, smoking a pipe and wondering why you decided to do this theme week.

Oh yeah. Seemed like a good idea at the time. They always do.

And now you have to remember how to blog like me. The first thing you have to remember is that the blog is for yourself. Other people may read this crap but that’s not your concern. So you try to remember if anything funny, anything you might want to remember, occurred yesterday. No. Yesterday was all about things you’d rather forget. Just like the day before.

So you scour the internet.

Anything happen in the news? You look at your google alerts. Why are all the android and humanoid stories always about Bladerunner? And the Mars alert? It’s always violence mars a wedding or protest marred by violence. So forget that. Doesn’t matter anyway. For some reason, you feel compelled to pump out a post.

Oh no. It’s fucking politics.

Your main tool is dysphemism. It’s the opposite of an euphemism. But there’s so many euphemisms that the dysphemism is often the accurate term. So instead of saying detainee, you say prisoner, instead of rendition you say kidnap. Forceful interrogation becomes torture. You try to use the real names for things.

It surprises you how offensive the world is.

You try to strip the gloss off the shit. When you do that, you find that it’s mainly just shit. And this week you’re trying to strip the gloss off yourself. And guess what? Shit.

Generally, you’re looking for things that may be of some use in a story. A new tech, a new trend. These are all little clues. The only problem is that most of the robot stories are repeating themselves for the third time since you started this. Someone has sent you a link about a “new” robot. You covered it two years ago.

You always thought this blog should be about something. But it’s not.

So you write about the one thing that pulls all this tech, politics, parties, reviews and random nonsense together. Yourself. If this blog was a suit, you’d be the tie. You have some heavy lifting to do. You’re not trying to be impartial just accurate. The problem is, you don’t even know when you’re joking.

You don’t take anything too seriously and you take everything too seriously. You’re sincere when you’re insincere and insincere when you’re sincere. If you don’t take things seriously, they’re not funny.

But now it’s time to walk to work. Looks like it’s going to rain. And you know that you’re going to deal with a lot of irritating shit. People will fail, some in little things, some as human beings. You’re going to fail too. You’ll lose your temper, pass by suffering without helping and even cause some. It’s a fucking mess.

Might as well laugh at it.