[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI5Z9B7dki4]
When I told a friend that I was going to do this “How to be Ryan Oakley” theme week she offered her assistance. She said: “Step One: Eat like a duck. Step Two: Live in own filth. Step Three: Give up on hopes and dreams, drag everyone around down with you, and fill your heart with hate.”
As you can imagine, I never asked for her assistance. And I would have phrased things a bit differently. I would have said: Eat tortured ducks not in spite of them being tortured but because of it, rise above the surrounding filth even if you created it and be realistic. Being realistic. That’s what I call giving up on your hopes and dreams, dragging everyone around down with me and filling my heart with hate. Realism.
But I’m not a bitter man. I just hate your hopes and dreams. They’re awful. When you start dreaming about something other than being rich, famous and on MTV, then we’ll talk. Until then I hope you fail. And I hope you do it in front of everyone you know, love and respect. Then I hope you do it again. That sort of stupidity is admirable.
I believe in failure. And I love it. Success bores me. Everything I’ve ever learned, I’ve learned by failing. It’s not the end of the world; though success often is. Failure teaches you that you still have shit to learn and things to improve. I love noticing my failings. It means I can do something about them. Success is simply being too stupid to know how badly you’ve failed. It’s a fancy word for ignorance.
People live in the terror of failure. I don’t know why. Most of them will fail. Most of them are failing right now. So why be afraid of it? Accepting failure is liberty. Fearing it is prison. If you want to be Ryan Oakley, you must understand the importance of this. You must embrace it. Think about it everyday.
I am afraid of things. But I’m not afraid of failing. I’m afraid of not trying.
Most people would not attempt to be me because they’re afraid of failing at it. They don’t want to look like assholes and I can’t blame them. The only reason I attempt to be me is because I don’t care about that. I’ll try hard and fail when I look like I try. I’ll happily look like an asshole. But so the fuck what? It’s amusing.
Shit, would someone dedicate a week to telling people how to be them if they were afraid of looking like an asshole? If they were afraid of falling flat on their face? I am an asshole. I’ve spent most of my life face down in one ditch or another. I’m fine with that. I can’t take it seriously.
And neither should you. Not if you want to be Ryan Oakley.
