Things are getting back to normal around here. Late last night I received a facebook email that caught my attention. From a lady, the note read “I think you’re evolved.” Oh great, I thought. Someone else is trying to fuck me. How boring.

There was a link to a group for “evolved men” and I followed it. Looks like the whole thing is some sort of word of mouth marketing bullshit. Here’s their sales pitch:

You are an evolved guy…women love you and men admire you.

You have left your days of “laddie mags” behind and have not “sold yourself out” to suburban life or a comfortable career (at least not yet).

You like to socialize but when you go out, you like to treat yourself to a bit of the good stuff.

You have a wide range of interests, cool under pressure, likely travel a lot and can talk to nearly anyone.

In a group, you’re one of the guys that gets noticed. Sometimes its looks, sometimes its style, sometimes its confidence and sometimes its just who you are.

Other words people would desribe you as:
- caring
- intelligent
- going places

Age isn’t that important but we have a target of 25 to 35 years old, but we’re confident there will be others outside of this band.

If this is you (consult photos below for a hall of fame roster of famous evolved guys) than we want you!

Join us in the front row of an exciting group (sponsored by a company that will soon be revealed) that brings together the most evolved guys in Toronto and then other cities.

Fame, influence, reputation, cool experiences and rewards await!

What a load this is. And their hall of fame? Well, you can just imagine. It includes half-witted jackasses like Matt Damon. As if I would ever be in a group that has Matt Damon as a hero. Am I a ten year old girl? And their object is probably something along the lines of selling mouthwash. Yay. What a noble cause.

I joined the group, of course. I wanted to write upon its wall. Since I’ll probably be deleted, here’s what I said:

What’s this about and why was I asked to join?

All the wild promises about influence and sordid appeals to vanity aside, I have the distinct feeling that some bourgeois-minded corporate pimp is trying to turn me out like a ten dollar whore.

Evolved? Here’s evolution for you — I’m a human. You’re mudskippers. Please return to your pond. The scum is getting lonely.

And I posted this video for them. Hitler fits their description of an evolved man quite nicely.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feLqz1udhtY]