Many suits are not designed for my body. They are designed to make other people look like they have my body.
I am tall and thin. Suits are built for the tall and thin or to make someone look tall and thin. If you are not tall and thin, you do not belong in a suit. By wearing one, you are destroying the aesthetic; infecting it with an element of hocus-pocus that some of us do not need. It is very simple and it’s nothing to get excited about. The short and/or sturdy have other options that are not available to me. Try those. Some are quite nice. But you must work with what you have.
Unfortunately, I have an ugly Hugo Boss. And I can’t work with it. I look as if the suit is wearing me; not that I’m wearing it. I’m not doubting my sanity for buying the contraption — though I should be. I needed a black suit for the Movember Gala and I know exactly what I was thinking: Hugo Boss designed and manufactured the SS Uniforms. Sadly, he’s lost his touch.
I’m not surprised. Most name-brand suits are hideous. A well-constructed suit should be timeless. Yet too many designers forgo that and try to stand out from the crowd. They want to do something different. Unfortunately, they succeed. They want to be creative. Unfortunately, they are.
They merely become slaves to fashion. You end up with all sorts of idiocy that looks awful by next year. Just look at what Holt Renfrew is offering in terms of menswear:
This fellow looks like he’s employed by a Russian pimp but hasn’t decided whether he’s an enforcer or just plays one in the bedroom. His turtlenecked sweater is tucked into his pants. Did his mother do that? If so, someone should have a word with her. She’s dressing her son funny. He may get beat up.
The photographer made a wise decision by shooting this in a dank warehouse. A less horrid set would have upstaged the clothes. As it is, the horrid clothes upstage it.
But this is what I have to deal with: Incompetents and creative nincompoops. A suit is not about expressing yourself, it is about suppressing yourself.
Cufflinks — that’s where a man can be creative. That’s about it.
