I was just looking through some old stuff and I found a poem I wrote for a co-worker. Now, I know what you’re thinking and it’s nothing like that. She was a vegetarian who was becoming a librarian. (She since has.) Because there’s not too much to think about in a dishpit — other than baked on cheese, dishpan hands and murdering everyone you see — I wrote this for her as a goof and gave her a copy. I actually think it’s kinda funny.
Lyric of the Vegetarian Librarian
Amongst my books I vow not to eat
Any creature whether it moos or bleats.
No lamb, No bacon, No pig, No cow,
Shall be chewed by me, this is my vow.
I sit proudly amongst the stack of periodicals,
Sating my appetites upon fruits and vegetables.
Oh plum, Oh apple, Oh soy, Oh flax,
Shall nourish my soul like the books I stack.
For it is vile for human to dine upon beast,
Or to eat any creature other than the green leaf.
Wrong, It is wrong, Oh so very wrong, says I,
But the trees that build our books, they all must die.
