I was at the tobacconist today, talking with the merchant about Dunhill’s decision to stop selling their line of pipe tobaccos in North America. The government, it seems, has messed with them and they’ve told the government to fuck off. During the course of the conversation I was offered some snuff and gave it a try. Good stuff. But it has me thinking about my history with drugs.
This history has been by most standards – that is, the standards of people still in possession of homes and without careers in the entertainment industry – a fairly extensive one. I’ve decided that it might be of interest to compile a list of the different substances I’ve abused. I’ve never really thought about it before.
There’s been alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, caffeine and morphine. Opium, PCP, cocaine, mushrooms and LSD. Speed, cough syrup, barbiturate, ketemine and ecstasy. Nitrous Oxide, rubber cement and muscle relaxants. I know that I’m leaving a few out but, for some damn reason, my mind is not all it should be.
There’s been drugs that I can’t remember ingesting – once again I wonder why – and there’s quite a few mystery ones. Those are the few I took once and couldn’t identify at the time or since. That’s not the sort of thing that stops a dedicated fellow like myself from snorting, eating or smoking anything. The fun is in shooting Bigfoot, not dissecting its corpse.
The best of the mystery drugs was a pink powder that a dealer, who was using me as a Guinea Pig, tested upon my delicate sensibilities. It was quite good. I wonder what it was. I would never do it again but I remain curious about its identity. The worst of the others was quite easily rubber cement but I would maintain that it has more class than cocaine, which has become the exclusive province of the unspeakably vulgar.
So, given my personality, I’m not exactly surprised that I liked snuff. I’ve been looking for a new drug for a while. Something that will not cloud my mind but will provide a pleasant little hit. This fits the bill quite well. I’ve also discovered that some people use it to quit smoking.
Though I enjoy a smoke, I’m not adverse to replacing it with something even more archaic, elitist and bizarre than a pipe. Something I can do indoors during the long Canadian winters or after a meal without stepping outside. I am not rushing into any decisions but this is certainly a consideration.
4 comments
Anonymous
April 13, 2007 at 10:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Beware Grumpy
That stuff can destroy the mucous membranes in your nose and ultimately cause nose cancer . Do you really need another addictive substance ? Better you stick to the pipe.
Remember the pink violin ? Stay away from any decisions til you’re really over X.. We are watching over you .
Ryan Oakley
April 13, 2007 at 8:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Oh please. I could use a new nose. This one doesn’t work worth a damn anyway.
And it’s the same addictive substance, just delivered in a different fashion. I occasionally enjoy a cigar on my walk home too. Shall we get out the pillory?
You make an error in attributing every decision I make to X. I am perfectly capable of manufacturing these stupidities by myself and when in the best of spirits.
I won’t live my life by shying away from bad choices – they’re often my favourite ones – or by waiting to get over someone. I am out of patience in that regard.
The wait is over.
Rob Owens
April 14, 2007 at 3:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
When I was fifteen, on summer vacation near Napanee, I associated with some farm boys who “chewed” terbaccer.
I introduced them to Skoal Bandits, bite-sized tough little paper sacks of ground snuff held in the mouth between cheek and gum. Wintergreen, strawberry, mint – tasty, and decidely different lift than smoking.
There’s the thing about your teeth turning light brown though… better stick with Jolt cola for now. But you didn’t mention nitorus oxide on your list.
Car enthusiasts use it to boost their engines, and I had some while my dentist did a root canal. Very amusing, ha ha ha ha…..
Ryan Oakley
April 15, 2007 at 12:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s snorted, not chewed and I did mention nitorous. They used to sell it in baloons at boozecans. 5 bucks a pop.