I prefer my cats to you and your bipedal cohorts. Quite sorry but it’s true.
They are furry, for one thing, and you, sadly, are bald. Now I know about that tuft of styled hair atop your head. I also know about the wiry locks in your body’s stinking nether regions. But that just doesn’t cut the mustard. It isn’t fur and it’s revolting.
Your personality also needs a little work. I can’t even recall the last time that you rubbed your head against my leg if, indeed, you ever have. I like to think of myself as a humble man but I do demand a certain amount of respect. My cats do this daily. You simply cannot compete.
You also talk. Too much. Perhaps it is time to be quiet. Maybe you should just make some noises when you require food or affection. I don’t really want be bored by your opinions on world affairs, philosophy or whatever other nonsense has caught your momentary fancy. I have my own opinions. They are not improved by hearing yours.
So, in short, I’m going to let you humans alone. I know, we will occasionally run into each other at work and at play. I will do my best to be polite and I hope that you will do the same. Sadly, experience has taught me that this may be hoping for a bit much. Still, you can try. The effort might improve you.
