About two hours ago, in a room about seven meters from here, Grumpy was walking down the street and playing with his brand-new, super-duper airplane.
“Vroom, Vroom,” said Grumpy.
He was so distracted by his game that he didn’t see the tomcat in the tophat. But that tomcat sure saw Grumpy.
“Hey, Owl,” he said. “You like to fly? I got something that’ll make you fly.”
“Who, who, who are you?” said Grumpy.
“I’m Tuphut DeCat.” The cat smiled, revealing his sharp teeth. “So what do ya say Owl? You wanna fly or what.”
“Sure I do,” said Grumpy.
“Then you just come with me.”
Mr. DeCat took Grumpy to his disco club at Richmond and Spadina. Then he disappeared for a while, leaving Grumpy alone to watch the gyrating skanks get drunk while their suitors beat each other up on the pavement. Mr. DeCat finally came back.
He had a big square piece of white paper and he tried to give this to Grumpy.
But Grumpy was wise and Grumpy asked: “What is it?”
“It’s LSD. All the kewl cats are doing it. Don’t you want to be kewl?”
“Sure I do,” said Grumpy. “But I’m an owl!”
“That’s fine,” said Mr. DeCat. “An owl is just a cat with feathers.”
Well, there was no arguing with that logic. But Grumpy still wasn’t sure. So he said: “Well, there’s no arguing with that logic, but I’m still not sure.”
Mr. DeCat got very angry. “How about this?” he growled. “You take it or I shoot you in the face!”
Will Grumpy take the LSD? Will it make him fly? Will Tuphat DeCat reveal his true identity as KGB Terrorist attempting to corrupt owls so that his band of fanatic Islamo-Fascist Commies can destroy civilization? Tune in for the next post to find out!
1 comment
Anonymous
February 13, 2007 at 12:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Grumpy! Just say NO.. but I guess that doesn’t make for much of a story. I’m on the edge of my seat .