Some of my more dedicated peeps may have noticed that I haven’t posted very much lately. Aside from suddenly developing a life – albeit one that consists of cheap booze, cheaper women and poorly rendered songs – the reason for this absence is simple:
Scientists are morons.
For example:
Scientific American gives us the observation that Apes Can Think Ahead. Well, of course they can. How else would they be able to pelt each other with feces? Why else would they masturbate in the zoo? They must know that they’re going to come.
Live Science says that Einstein would have been too short to donate sperm. Okay. People are shallow. I think we all know that. Aside from that, I’d like to think that one of the greatest geniuses of the 20th century would have better things to do than wack off into a cup for twenty bucks. Any woman who thinks that they’re gonna find prime genetic material in a sperm bank is crazy. These men are paid for masturbating. That’s how they make money. That should tell you something.
Then there’s an article in Science Daily entitled Alcohol May Threaten GI Health. I’m thinking of course it does. They’re drunk and have guns. Throw in a couple of coked up strippers and there’s gonna be fatalities. Then I find out that they don’t mean GI as in GI Joe but GI as in gastrointestinal (GI) system. So I don’t know. Maybe I’m stupid.
But, I’ll tell you one thing. I might be stupid but I’m still grumpy.
It’s probably because this season of America’s Next Top Model really sucked. Those girls need to fight and cry more. I don’t sit through that crap to see everyone getting along and wishing each other luck. I want blood and tears and Tyra screaming. I’m a simple man with simple tastes.
3 comments
Marcia
May 23, 2006 at 12:34 pm (UTC -5)
you’re not stupid, but I’m glad you’re still grumpy.
v
May 23, 2006 at 11:41 pm (UTC -5)
I heard Einstein was packing large so I’m guessing the ladies would overlook the height requirement.
And if you Canadians get The Soup on E! you should check it out. They’ll have all the crazy ANTM moments without the boring other 50 minutes.
Grumpy Owl
May 24, 2006 at 7:31 am (UTC -5)
Love you too M.
V. I watch ANTM to see bitches crry.