I like things that glow. I even like those glowing pig monsters. I remember having a conversation with someone about them. He blamed my science fiction writing for my Oh Golly attitude, saying:
“That’s probably why you think those pigs are great and I think they’re horribly dystopic.”
I replied that humanity has always had problems but at least the new ones glow in the dark. I also don’t think that humanity has ever actually solved a problem. We just make the old ones obsolete by replacing them with much more terrifying scenarios.
For example; no one is still scared of getting nuked by Russia but all of those missiles are still pointing at us. Instead of solving the problem we’ve decided to be afraid of suitcase bombs or biological agents. Fine, I say. If we can’t solve a problem we might as well forget about it.
And there is no better place to forget about nuked cities glowing green, monster pigs glowing green, bird flu faces turning green or green spaces turning into concrete than in a fancy new glowing green bathtub. So draw some hot water, pour yourself a pint of absinthe, light some green and just kick back with The Green Fairy. Because whatever your problems are today, the ones you have tomorrow will be even worse.
