Being a fan of Papa Joe, I have to admit that I’m not very surprised that he wanted to create an army of super-apes. Who doesn’t? I would love an army of apes and so would you. Don’t lie. You know you would.
What does surprise me, however, is just how stupid people in the 1920s must have been. Think about it. Stalin paid the best minds a fortune to develop this ape army. The best -the only- thing they could come up with was “impregnating chimpanzees.” If I lay down $200,000 I’d like to see some better ideas than chimp humping. I could have come up with that myself. Shit, I come up with that every time I go to the zoo. If making sweet love to an irresistible chimp resulted in super-ape babies, this new master race would have taken over the world by the 1700s.
Then, when impregnating chimpanzees didn’t work, they tried impregnating human females. These scientists were quite obviously working out their kinks at the expense of the government. With top minds like these, is there still any doubt about why Stalin had the purges?
And it’s not like there weren’t other ideas floating around. H.G. Wells published “The Island of Doctor Moreau” in 1896. You might have thought that these Soviet scientists would have tried some grafts and amputation. You know, cut off a woman’s arm and glue a chimp’s arm to her. Or maybe they didn’t have glue back then. No mind. Nails would have worked just as well.
