Not sure what to get that person on your list who has everything? Or perhaps the Christmas season has you stressed out and your wife objects to you relieving that stress by crushing her breasts in a vice-like grip.
Whatever the case may be, I would typically recommend alcohol as the remedy to your ills – and I stand by that – but this season I’m also suggesting booby balls.
Now Ryan, you’re probably thinking, why would I spend fifty greenbacks on booby balls when I could spend that cash on a bottle of malt liquor and an actual hooker? The answer is simple: Cost. You generally have to pay hookers by use or time and when you finish that bottle of malt liquor you just need to buy another. (And then if you really want to do in the Christmas blues – yet another.) But the booby balls, if well cared for, will last a lifetime.
Make the smart choice this year. Go for the booby balls.
2 comments
Mark Leslie
December 14, 2005 at 9:30 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hmm, do they sell them in singles, because I want to stretch my money – maybe buy one boobie ball and a pack of Lakeport Honey lager, which you can get for $25.
Unless, of course, boobies provincially and federally taxed when you don’t buy them in pairs, then I might need to settle for a 12 pack….how unCanadian of me.
Ryan Oakley
December 14, 2005 at 10:02 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
A 12 pack of boobies Mark? Nothing could be more Canadian.
I’m thinking of turning mine into ear muffs.